#36

What's a pirate's favorite classic Nickelodeon show featuring kids telling ghost stories around a campfire?

ARRRe You Afraid of the DARRRk?.

#35

What's a pirate's favorite nickname for William Shakespeare?

The BARRRd of Avon.

PIRATES MAKING JOKES is taking a short break. New jokes will return on Monday, August 28th.

#34

Backdated; actually added on August 18th (at 2:04 AM).

Pirates tend to do good for others in hopes that this good will return to them because of their belief in what?

KARRRma.

#33

Backdated; actually added on August 17th (at 12:08 AM).

What were the pirates who came from the North down to the South during the Reconstruction after the U.S. Civil War called?

CARRRpetbaggers.

#32

Backdated; actually added on August 17th (at 12:08 AM).

During the Punic Wars, who were pirates rooting for?

The CARRRthaginians.

#31

Who was a pirate's favorite passenger on the HMS Beagle?

Charles DARRRwin.

#30

What condiment do pirates enjoy with their fish and chips?

TARRRtARRR sauce.

#29

Why do pirates avoid using currency?

Because they prefer the bARRRter system.

#28

In order to represent his party in the general election, what must a pirate first win?

A primARRRy election.

Congrats to all the Lamonties out there; you and your guy pulled it off.

#27

With what were the German pirates disappointed after World War I?

The ARRRmistice.

Contributed by Pirate Kent, arrr.

#26

Backdated; actually added on August 4th (at 1:45 AM).

How do pirates celebrate a birthday?

By having a pARRRty. With mARRRtinis. And making fun of people who don't wash their hands, apparently.

Happy birthday mom!

#25

Backdated; actually added on August 4th (at 1:45 AM).

When two pirates have a dispute, through what means is it resolved?

ARRRbitration.

Today's joke inspired by Pirate Vince, arrr.

#24

What's a pirate's favorite Shakespearean lost play of dubious authorship?

CARRRdenio.

#23

Backdated; actually added on August 2nd.

What's a pirate's favorite brand of toilet paper?

ChARRRmin.

#22

Backdated; actually added on August 2nd.

Why did the pirate have difficulty becoming an attorney?

He couldn't pass the BARRR.

#21

What do you call a pirate who works at Starbucks?

A bARRRista.

#20

What's a pirate's favorite vaguely-Christian fantasy world?

NARRRnia.

#19

When a pirate is out of gift ideas, he goes to what store to buy useless crap nobody uses?

The ShARRRper Image.

#18

Which of the Brontë sisters is a pirate's favorite?

ChARRRlotte. (Pirates think Wuthering Heights is an overwritten, convoluted mess. Plus, they think Heathcliff is a bastARRRd.)

#17

What's a pirate's favorite Dublin-related breakfast cereal?

Lucky ChARRRms.

#16

What Athenian monument do pirates regard as the greatest architectural achievement of antiquity?

The PARRRthenon.

#15

If a pirate were to join the U.S. military, which branch would he join?

The Coast GuARRRd, of course. (They're pirates -- why would they join the ARRRmy when there's a nautical job available?)

Best of luck in the ARRRmy, Andrew.

#14

What's a pirate's favorite Parisian existentialist thinker?

Jean-Paul SARRRtre.

#13

What's a pirate's favorite indie rock band?

The ARRRcade Fire.